As much as I try to be the "Love your body" activist, I haven't been loving my body lately. And what's worse, I haven't been treating my body with love either. Meaning, I've been eating like complete shit, forgetting sunscreen, and using the dreaded f-word. No, not f&ck. The one that starts with an F and rhymes with Cat.
I'll be the first to admit that things could be worse. I've been loving my legs and my ass. Those 2 features have been reaping the benefits of my run streak. And the husband is super supportive in my appearance too, so kudos to him for making me feel HAWT. But when it comes right down to it, I don't always love what I see in the mirror. Which sucks because I'm at a place in my life where I am supremely happy.
The issue is, that I didn't always have hips. I used to be that obnoxious girl that ate everything and anything and remained thin. Looking back at pictures, I don't think I looked very healthy, although it was unintentional. And to be clear, I never want to look like that again...which is good because that would be completely impossible anyway. I firmly believe that muscles are beautiful and the look I strive for is one of strength.
Like most women, I want to be toned and strong. I want to look at myself in the mirror and see the strength that I feel on the inside. The problem is, I have no direction. Scratch that, I have no will power. I KNOW what I need to do, yet I can't seem to make myself to do it. I believe that I can fix my eating habits, but I need the strength to get the workouts done.
There's no magic number I'm looking for on the scale. I weigh 133 pounds and I see nothing wrong with that number. Hell, I'd tattoo it on my face. I won't be upset if I gain weight either, as long as it's due to an increase in muscle. I just need to make the change. I need to commit to the health and fitness lifestyle that my running embodies.
My goal with blogging has always been to keep myself honest with training, and hopefully to inspire someone else along the way. This is me being honest with myself, and YOU. I don't want to promote self confidence if I don't always feel it myself. But this is my pledge to YOU that I will make an effort to live the life that provides strength on the outside as well as the inside.