MommiesRun Monday: Nikki

Each Monday I feature a different Mommy who Runs. We discuss different aspects of balancing motherhood, running, career, and health. If you are interested in being featured, please email me at mommiesrun@gmail.com

I've known Nikki since the beginning of this year.  We are both members of our local Moms Run This Town group, as well as RUN365.  She is one of my favorite runners, a great mom, and also a great friend.  I'm so excited to share with y'all her thoughts on being a Mommy who Runs.


Happy Monday Mommies!

Little bit about me: I’m a married, working mommy of 2 kiddos (Evan 5 and Liv 3) and 3 dogs.  I’ve been running for about 18 months and I've been attending bootcamp for 3 months.  My favorite food is any dessert.  My secret addiction is Candy Crush and Keeping Up with the Kardashians J      

This is my first ever attempt at a blog so wish me luck!

The Code of Motherhood (COM) is a set of expectations that have been passed from one generation to another about what “makes” a good mother.  Life experiences also shape the types of rules we as mommies must abide by.  Many times judgment is passed quickly on others as a sucker is pulled out of a purse to keep YOUR child quiet or ignoring YOUR child in the aisle of the grocery store while she screams “I want Dora gummies”.  Just to note I am the person pulling out the sucker and ignoring my child in the grocery store(and sometimes both).  There have been so many times I have thought to myself “I wish she would pull out a damn sucker – maybe I have one in my purse to give”.


On the other side of the coin, judgment is passed when one mom makes her own organic baby food or uses cloth diapers.    One person’s defeat is our victory and our victory is another’s  defeat.  As mothers, it’s our responsibility to begin to shift the mentality to be supportive, regardless if you give candy for behavior or grow your own sweet potatoes.  Just to be honest – I have felt like I’ve been judged and I've judged other mommies over the years (even before I had kids).  

Motherhood was not designed to be competition but  running was designed specifically for that purpose.  A runner’s defeat and victory is totally self imposed.  It benefits no one to place judgment on how fast another runs.  Runners provide the support to each other regardless of where they are in the race.  I have been past by many, many runners but have never felt like a total failure.  Runners who have finished races run back just to encourage others to not give up.  Secrets are shared in how to improve pace, distance or form.  Running is a community where everyone works toward individual goals but also for the good of others.  


A shift from the Code of Motherhood to Community of Motherhood is necessary.  Everyone knows there is nothing harder than being a mommy, so the next time you see me giving a ring pop to my child at Kroger, a simple smile of understanding could go a long way.  If my kids were great on an airplane please tell me – it validates that I’m doing something right.  

The next time, let your victory be our victory.        

Thank you so much for this beautiful work, Nikki!  I completely agree that we, as mothers, should support each other and stop the judgement!  Even though the growing sweet potatoes comment is about me ;-)  

Moms, have you ever felt judged?  How did you react?