I was humbled on Sunday. Normally I'm the one checking in with my people, making sure they are okay. But on Sunday, I was asked if *I* was okay by two very caring friends.
Short answer: Yes, I'm okay.
They noticed my lack of blogging and my generally bubbly personality has been well, less than bubbly.
I can only explain all this with three words:
I. am. tired.
I have a lot going on, probably more than one person should take on. I have so many facets in my life that are just exploding right now.
But, I'm okay.
Since none of it is private, I figure I'll just share all the explosions with y'all!
Josh is now working with his dad doing courier work. He leaves the house at 4:30 am and returns at about 7 am so that I can head to work. He is making up for the lack of sleep on my off days. We did have a big emergency this past week as he developed a severe sinus infection. I had to leave work early last Monday to take him to the ENT where we spent 4 hours. He's going to eventually need surgery due to some effed up sinus anatomy.
My babies are about to be 5 years old. I'm honestly having some difficulty with this. I know most moms have these issues also, but it's just so bizarre how much they've grown up. They tell these stories that have me laughing so hard that I'm crying. Yet they have these moments when I seriously question my parenting skills. Like blatantly ignoring me when I ask them to do something.
My pharmacy is currently undergoing a remodel. Last week, I worked 74 hours. Don't get me wrong, the fact that we have earned this remodel is fantastic. My staff and I have worked our asses off the past 3 years to make this pharmacy what it has become. I have patients that have become like family to me and my staff means everything to me. But I am worn out and stressed to capacity. I live in constant search for the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm also working 20 hours of overtime this week too! Gotta fund that Disney World trip!
Last week was supposed to have been my peak week before taper starts, yet I only ran 20 miles. Oh, and that was all in one run. It's my fault though as I planned poorly. I'm still frustrated even though I think it'll be okay. That 20 miler went infinitely better than this 20 miler. I am resolved to remember that I will not have a time goal for my first marathon. I just want to finish with a smile on my face, holding Debi's hand across the line.
I am so thankful for how understanding my family has been during Marathon training. My parents and in laws have helped so much with the girls to make sure my runs happen. My friends have been amazing, especially Debi and my SIRs (sisters in running), Moony, KMac, JB, and Gebke. Those 5 girls are such blessings in my life.
And I know I'm going to be okay.
Thank you P3s, for asking. And if I've seemed less than okay, I'm sorry. It means the world to me that y'all were worried. Sometimes knowing someone cares can make you feel instantly better!