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Thinking Out Loud #1 {Poor Me}


I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. 

 I have no problems making excuses for why I forgot to transfer the wet clothes to the dryer.  Or why I didn't empty the dishwasher.   I can even make an excuse for why I forgot to hit the "submit" button when paying a bill online.  

I may just be the Queen of Excuses.

But I don't have many excuses for why I've been eating like crap, or why I let my ahem, time of the month keep me from running a half marathon this morning.  I won't make excuses for those things, because it's pretty inexcusable.

 I would punch myself in the face if I could, but I can't.  

So now I sit here, depressed because I missed what could have been a great race.  I need to rally and put it behind me, but I'm just so pissed.  I have no upcoming races, nothing to train for, and I'm feeling lost.  After the longest marathon training plan ended, I was so relieved.  I needed a break from purposeful running.  Yet now, all I can think about is needing a training schedule.  

By nature, I am a Type Z person.  Yeah, I made that up.  Meaning, I am laid back, calm, and could care less about organization.  Some may call this laziness.  I call it Type Z.  I just live day to day and fly by the seat of my running shorts most of the time.  

I'm not sure where this leaves me.  I need a plan, I need a goal race.  I also need a few more hours in the day to make sure I get enough sleep.  I keep wondering if there is a way to train my body to get less sleep, but I know medically, that that is ridiculous.  

The fact that there are people going through things a million times worse is not lost on me.  That is why I will leave you with a picture of Belle wearing a headband.  Because no matter how sorry I feel for myself, I feel much worse for dogs that have to wear headbands.

P.S.  I may be bummed, but I'm not illiterate.  I know it is not Thursday, but I really like Running with Spoons' Thinking Out Loud Thursday format.  I'm hoping to participate more.  You know, when they add in those extra hours in the day :)

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